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How attractive are you on a rating of 1 to 10? September 28, 2010

Posted by Lauren Cooke in Advice, Fashion, Inspiration.
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Girls, it seems, don’t like themselves very much. They are known for wearing makeup, shaving their legs, and wearing uncomfortable shoes. More negatively, girls are seen as the dominant gender when it comes to a lack of self-confidence, eating disorders, and body dismorphia. Whatever the reality of these sweeping overgeneralisations, one thing is clear. Women seem to underestimate themselves and their looks on a daily basis.

A colleague brought this to my attention. His point, eloquently put, was that men are able to interest women more attractive than themselves, because no woman he has ever met rates herself high enough. So, there we are, plodding along believing that all people see is our big noses, our moles, and any other imaginary flaw that we are able to concoct. Despite the fact that in actuality the men in our lives see us as beautiful and technically out of their league, we continue to self-depricate.

So, what would you rate yourself on a scale of one to ten? I rated myself an optimistic six – I can see so many flaws that I couldn’t imagine being higher. I wasn’t told what I would be scored, but apparently I seriously underestimated myself. If this is the case for me, who has a reasonable opinion of herself, then I dread to think how unattractive some of my most wonderful and beautiful friends think that they are.

If your rating is low, then is it individual self-esteem issues, or a deep-seated problem with society and the things it makes us aspire to? Perhaps, rather than issues unique to each of us, there is an element of group thought. Perhaps we aren’t brought up by the media, or by people around us, to concentrate on our good points. And sure, none of us want to be cocky or self-obsessed, but a little boost on our self-perception and personal attitude seems like it may be really useful. Instead, however, we are all underestimating ourselves all the time.

So, now you know you are more attractive than you think, what would you rate yourself?

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Comments»

1. Lindsey - September 28, 2010

How we percive ourselves and how men percive us are two different things….

My other half usually compliments me when I think I look terrible. i.e no make up, just out the bath in mismatching pj’s putting on my anti ageing cream! This is the time he decides of all to compliment me. Not when I am dolled up and have a face full of slap.

the self awareness that we all have is lacking.

Lauren Cooke - September 29, 2010

This is why we need our other halves, isn’t it?! It is just such a shame we can’t see when we are looking gorgeous!

2. sparrowrags - September 28, 2010

I’d rate myself as an eight. to be honest. And not because I’m perfect, far from it, because although I’m fifteen pounds heavier than I’d like to be, I have skin that likes to break out painfully whenever under stress, and varicose veins on my legs at the age of 21, I am comfortable with who I am and the body I have.

I agree that most women lack the confidence to see themselves as beautiful as they are, as an openly bisexual woman I have often battled with my ex-Girlfriends’ low self-esteem. Their need of constant validation is tiring, why can’t women just accept that perfection isn’t beautiful? It is the contrast, the flaws, the quirky mismatches, the strange high-pitched laugh, the nose with character, the untamable hair… It is the imperfections that are beautiful, and the natural form of the woman. The humanity, and delicious movements and lines of the female form. There are so many beautiful women in the world.

BTW Lauren you were a 9 out of 10 on my scale. :) You get extra points for having an awesome personality. so in actuality you’re a 10.

Lauren Cooke - September 29, 2010

I’d probably rate you higher, you left such a remarkable impression on me! I totally agree with you – women and all of their little foibles are stunning, and I think it is a shame that generally people don’t see in themselves what they see so easily in others.

Thank you soo much for the confidence boost – you are lovely! A ten eh?! I’d better not let it go to my head ;)

3. Elementalgrace - September 29, 2010

Nice post, Lauren! I like it!

Overall, I’d probably put myself at somewhere around a 7-8. It’s slightly lower than I’d normally put to be honest as I’ve put on about 4 stone in the last several years and my teeth have gone wonky again. Those things notwithstanding (and let’s face it, it’s not SO hard to fix them) I generally like myself and think I have a nice shape.

PS – To add to Sparrowrags very good point: our imperfections not only make us beutiful but it’s our differences from EVERYONE else that makes us interesting and unique. Who wants to look like everyone else anyway? Not me, I can promise you.

4. poet - October 1, 2010

Boyfriend says 18, mirror says 9 to 11 depending on mood, so I’m pretty confident in that department :) I like your reminder to us all to not underrate ourselves, but at the same time I don’t really believe beauty comes in a neat little scale from 0 to 10. People are so diverse!

Lauren Cooke - October 1, 2010

Yay, that’s really good that you are that confident. I know 1-10 doesn’t suffice, but the colleague used that as an example to show how many girls underestimate themselves :)

5. Eva - October 7, 2010

You raise a few interesting points. However, “Girls, it seems, don’t like themselves very much. They are known for wearing makeup, shaving their legs, and wearing uncomfortable shoes.” I don’t think that these activities always stem from girls not liking themselves the way they are. Sometimes it’s just nice to spice things up a bit.

For instance, I enjoy wearing make-up immensely, putting it on in the morning is my favorite ritual. However, the reason for wearing make-up isn’t that I don’t like myself without it. It’s just that I like to play with it, similar to how I often enjoy wearing high-heeled shoes. Not for how others will perceive me, but for myself.

Lauren Cooke - October 8, 2010

Hi Eva, thanks for commenting.

I am the same – I actively enjoy wearing high heels, for me and for me alone. In much the same vein, I only wear make-up when I fancy it, not because of how it will make me look. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. However, the point I was making was that of all the things that women as a gender are known for, a majority are for changing the way they look. Rather than being known for being confident, intelligent and interesting, these looks and improvement based topics are a major part of the modern day image of a woman. Add this too the more negative associations such as body dismorphia, and the overriding impression is of a gender than, when generalised, seem to underestimate themselves.

Hopefully that makes more sense! xxx


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