So many “What Ifs” January 30, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Travel.2 comments
I booked my round the world tickets yesterday. It was terrifying, but the cash has exchanged hands and all of a sudden I am £1300 down and in possession of the ability to visit three different country and completely separate myself from my day-to-day life for a grand total of three months.
It’s exciting. Obviously. After all, there lies in front of me such a path of adventure and excitement, there are so many friends for me to make in different corners of the globe, so many things for me to see, and do, and experience. Give me a week or so and the planning bug will have kicked in again, and I will be gibbering on about routes, and destinations, and I will be irritating anyone and everyone with my enthusiasm.
For now, however, I am freaking out.
Firstly, I am having a little emotional crisis about doing this alone. It has been a choice, I want to do it this way, but flying half way around the world and then surviving entirely alone for a quarter of a year. How will I do it? What if I’m not brave enough? What if I fail to make friends, and traipse my way around the globe thoroughly alone until returning to Britain in disgrace. Don’t get me wrong, hopefully this won’t be the case, but my mind is full of “what ifs” at the moment.
Then, of course, there is the life I leave behind. My job will be here when I come back, I am lucky about that, but I don’t know what will be happening with my house, this house I rent that I adore. Will there be any way to keep it? What about all of my friends? I spent so much of January being ill that I already feel isolated and alone, completely out of the circle of friends that I treasure so much. If it is like this after two weeks of absence, then what will it be like once I have been away for three months. How do I slip back into my life once it is done?
It is a scary thing. Very scary indeed.
In Missing Reality January 28, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Wordy Business.Tags: Books, Dreams, literature
add a comment
There are some characters that have changed the lives of so many people. We feel their wants, their sadness. Their joys cause our hearts to quake, their experiences are as much a part of us as our own characters, our own dreams. They are so vivid, so pure and so real that they are not only embedded in our minds, but in our worlds. They are as homely to us as the couch we grew up with, as the pillows we dream on every night.
The problem is that these wonderful people, these dearest friends, are not there for us when we need them most. We are so close to them, we see them as so important, yet all they are, are shadows of someone else’s dreams. The most elegant and delicate shadows, of course, but shadows nonetheless. They are but thoughts passing in the night, no more of substance than our dreams or thoughts.
More Shoes on Sale! January 27, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Fashion.Tags: boots, eBay, Shoes, vintage
3 comments
Click the images to go to the listings!
Vintage YSL Heels, Perfect Condition, UK7.5/EU40
Irregular Choice Boots, Perfect Condition, UK7/EU40
Irregular Choice, Great Condition, UK7/EU40
Shoes for sale! January 24, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Fashion.Tags: Buy Shoes, eBay, Shoes, Shoes for sale
add a comment
Hi All!
Check out my new “Shoes For Sale!” page, where I will be getting rid of shoes in the run up to my trip. Every desperate money-saving scheme is being executed!
Most shoes are size 6 or 7, and they are all (of course!) gorgeous!
Lauren xx
A little bit of painting… January 23, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Art, Photos.Tags: art, creativity, drawing, painting, tattoos
1 comment so far
Been doodling..
The clouds
I’ve been painting this week. I actually sat down to attempt to come up with a tattoo design for my second tattoo, which I hope will be a beautiful way to incorporate my favourite Bell X 1 lyrics onto my body so that they will always remind me that life is worth living. However, as always happens when I sit down to paint something specific, I found my paintbrush wandering, and before I knew it strange blue/green waves were creeping across the canvas. After a little blinking at it I realised it seemed to want to be an ocean, and so soon enough that was what it became. An angry ocean deserved an angry sky, and I am particularly pleased with my tempestuous clouds marching across the horizon.
On another note, I have booked a session for my tattoo, two Saturdays from now. I am terrified, of course, but really excited too. Bring on the inking!
Oh-So-Beautiful Origami Crane Necklace January 19, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Fashion, Present lists....Tags: Fashion, jewellery, origami
add a comment
Another item to add to my ever-increasing collection of things I desperately want to own but which, thanks to my budget I can’t. If anyone fancies buying it for me, I wouldn’t say no… Thanks to Diana for bringing it to my attention!
Available via Etsy, for $30
Blue Monday and Me January 18, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Depression.Tags: blue monday, Depression, Life
add a comment
When I started yesterday, I was somewhat scornful about it being Blue Monday. Sure, I could understand why it might be one of the more depressing days of the year, what with so long until pay day and so long since Christmas, but I was in relatively high spirits. For the first time this year I was feeling healthy, and as far as I was aware that should be more than enough to keep me perky.
I should know better. There is nothing like a cocky attitude to trigger an onslaught of depression, and after a particularly stressful day at work I was ready to curl up and die. Well, not quite, but I certainly wasn’t up for anything more than lurking on the sofa and being all self-pitying.
Since recovering from the depression that hit me so hard in the summer, I have been happy. I have been feeling chirpy, and settled, and happy with the way my life is going in a way that I haven’t for a very long time. In fact, I would go so far as to say that everything has fallen into place, I feel I belong in the world I inhabit, and I enjoy everything that goes with it. I love my job, my friends, my family, my house. Life is good.
However, this doesn’t stop occasional moodiness. Last might I lay in bed, and I cried. I cried because I am a little hormonal, and above all else I really really wanted someone to lie down with me and cuddle me. Just to hold me so that I could go to sleep not feeling alone. I cried because my will power is non-existent, and because I hate my body at the moment and want it to be like it used to be. I cried just because I needed to, because I felt stressed and tried and empty inside, and I needed to vent.
I hate days like this.
The First Of Many To-Do Lists January 16, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Travel.Tags: Round the world trip planning, RTW Trip, RTW Trip planning, To-Do List, Tound the world trip, Travel, Travel List, Travel To-Do List
2 comments
Round The World Trip Organisation…
Set up a “Planning my RTW Trip” blog. Tumblr is probably a good place to start. RTW In 90 Days – All set up!- Book plane tickets. Waiting for people to get back to you with quotes is boring – keep hassling them, and haggle haggle haggle.
- Make sure I save money. I HAVE to be tight, but I also don’t want 6mths of misery prior to leaving!
- Develop a lot of lists like this – what to pack, where to go, who to contact!
- Once flights are booked, book other pre-payable elements – but remember to leave flexibility!
- Swot up on my new guidebooks, winging their way to me as we speak.
- Read my new “Woman Traveller” books for clever insights and inspiration.
Eeek, here goes!
Finally! Drawing Dressember to a close January 14, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Dressember, Fashion, What I Wore.Tags: charity, Depression, dressember, Dressember Day 31, Fashion, What I wore
add a comment
- Day 31
- Close up!
Well, it took me bloody long enough, didn’t it! These are the long-awaited photos from New Years Eve, and they are the last dress worn on the Dressember challenge. In total I wore a dress on each and every one of the 31 days, and I only repeated one dress. Pretty good stats.
I have also managed to raise £100 for Depression Alliance, which I think is a pretty good sum. I am leaving the page until February though, so if you want to give a donation then feel free! My target was £150, so let’s see if we can get there.
Anyway, it was a cold month, full of windy skirts and trembling knees – but all for a very good cause. I was certainly ready for the jeans when the time came though!
Discovering my independence January 14, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Travel.Tags: planning, single travellers, Travel, travelling alone
add a comment
In case you somehow managed to miss it, I am currently planning a pretty big trip away. It is a solo trip, and I am going to hopefully spend three months making friends and memories before coming back to the real world. Prepare yourself for a certain onslaught of holiday related blog posts!
The first life lesson from this trip has happened before I have even booked the tickets.
I have always been a bit of a lone wolf. I had best friends rather than groups of friends for most of my school life. Now I have moved to Leamington I find it easiest to keep in contact with only a select few people. I can up sticks and move houses or towns without much in the way of worries, although I do still miss people. However, a lot of the time I feel like I ought to want company, and that my favourite time spent alone would be better spent with other people. Don’t get me wrong, I like company and suchlike, but the need to sometimes do things my way has always seemed like selfishness and self-indulgence.
After exploring options for travelling with people for large sections of the trip, I suddenly realised something. I am an independent and able woman, and this is my holiday. I don’t actually want to share the planning with people – I want it to be mine, I want to head out into the world and make my mark. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to do the trip in silence – I will meet people on the way and am consciously planning ways to make this easy – but I want to do my trip all by my lonesome as far as the entirety of it goes.
Essentially the life lesson is this. Sometimes, it is good to be selfish. For an amazing experience like this, the most important thing is how I feel – and if that means I get to discover my independence and bravery in the bargain then that? Well, that is great.
