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Who was she? February 4, 2011

Posted by Lauren Cooke in Inspiration, Life, Chatter & Politics.
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In the past few months I have been reconnecting with a few people from what, in many ways, I think of as my old life. Friends from sixth form, from school, and even from my very first primary school. Some I knew well, others not so, but the one thing that they have in common is the fact that they don’t actually know me.

You see, back then I was a completely different person to the one I am now. Looking back I barely recognise the person I once was, as life has seen me grow above and beyond that most distant of starting points, the girl I was once is a mere shadow, a vague impression of the Lauren that I would grow to be.

So, if I were to tell these old friend and acquaintances what exactly has changed, what would I say? How would I define this new me in a way that showed how far from the old I have come?

Well first, there is my confidence. I was a little shy, seen as a little odd. I never quite fitted in with anyone other than my immediate friendship group, and everyone at school seemed so far away. Now I have a strong sense of self-belief. I am chatty, and funny, and not afraid to poke fun at people. I spontaneously start conversation, even with people I barely know, and I consider myself social and nice.

I fit in with the world much better now, even though I am still completely bonkers.

Then there is the fact that I have grown-up. I understand politics, I can debate and argue. I work every day in a job that I like, and the effect this sort of life change can have is impossible to over-emphasise. I am a different person, I live my life a different way, all the responsibilities and things that come with being an adult have taken hold in the most positive of ways.

Then there is the bravery. I am about the set off around the world, alone, something I would never have done years ago. I would tell these people about the courage I have gained in setting off into the world, in building my own life, in leaving my home town and being forced to make it on my own. There is no stuttering or stumbling any more, just leaping into the future.

The girl you once knew? She is gone. Well, maybe she hasn’t disappeared completely, but she is certainly new and improved with so much more to offer.

What would you say to people who knew you years ago?

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Comments»

1. Emma Cossey - February 4, 2011

Interesting post!

I find that when I meet up with people from my past, I slip back into the old me – the self-conscious sidekick. I don’t think I’d ever have had the confidence then to do all the things I do now.

I’m not sure I’ve changed hugely, just grown the confidence (to steal a line from The Holiday) “to be the star of my own movie.”


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