RIP Little Ratty Muffin March 30, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Family.4 comments
She's on the left... the fatty ratty!
Just had the poor little lamb put down, held her in my arms as she slipped away to meet the Death of Rats (don’t know what I’m on about? Read Pratchett…). She was a wonderful little thing, sweet and funny and affectionate, and I will really miss her. Even the presence of incredibly beautiful vet man didn’t stop me from shedding tears and making incredibly tasteless jokes to take the pressure off!
Now, because I appear to be unable to stop crying, and because I really want a hug, I am instead going to take myself for a walk and then buy myself some Ben & Jerry’s. Needs must.
As for Muffin, I have just one last thing to say…
SQUEAK
Adjust This – A Review of The Adjustment Bureau March 26, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Media, TV & Film.Tags: adjustment bureau review, cinema, emily blunt, film review, matt damon, reviews, the adjustment bureau
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I came on here fully prepared to whine about something. Or to apologise about whining so much. I’m fickle like that.
Instead, I find myself unable to resist the urge to wax lyrical about the film I have just seen, The Adjustment Bureau.
Firstly, a caveat. I am a huge Matt Damon fan. From the moment I saw the utterly disturbing cinematic event that is The Talented Mr Ripley, I have been a huge advocate of his. I see in him a spark of true brilliance, and acting genius. Despite the tendency of the media to go on about Jude Laws’ performance in that film (but why?!), I think there are few performances that could beat that icy cool insanity of a man tumbling into the void. Since then, I have yet to be disappointed by anything the man turns his hand to, and it is a delight to see him avoid the trappings of becoming an (awesome) action hero.
So, clearly, I went into this film in a state of mind to enjoy. To sit back and take it in and accept the likelihood of Damon’s presence making it brilliant. I wasn’t disappointed.
The Adjustment Bureau isn’t a unique film. The concept is fascinating, but so many elements can be likened to other films. The intricacy and questions of the Matrix. The visual celebration of Inception – although I hold that this film is actually infinitely better. And that is said as someone with a crush on both Leo and Ellen Page! So many different parts of this movie reference so many others, but rather than being a limitation, I found it actually pushed this film forward.
The Adjustment Bureau is, as discussed, many things. In addition, it is funny. Laugh out loud kind of funny. It is touching, and throughout kept me choked up, tensed in response to such suspense. It questions many concepts humanity takes for granted – love, passion, free will, faith. It answers few of these queries, instead letting the story speak for itself, and leaving us with a sense of how things may turn out, but absolutely no certainty. It is also silly, banal, absurd, all of which serve to further highlight the big issues being raised, as well as poking fun at the self-involvement of humanity. The ridiculousness of our need to have so many questions answered.
It is less mindless action than the trailers, and the posters, try to persuade us it is.
I came out of the cinema, once the film had ended, and all I could think was – “that was brilliant”.
And it was.
The many challenges of pets March 24, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Depression, Family.Tags: illness, pets, vets
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Sometimes I feel like don’t really have much of a heart. Some things that should simply don’t get to me – when my last rat died, it was a bit sad, but that was it. In the rest of my life, I rebel against sickly romance. I don’t see the magic in the Mona Lisa.
Then something will come along that makes me realise that sometimes, I care desperately. I will see something, generally in the most unexpected place, that speaks to me of such beauty. I will cry myself to sleep because a song is so magical. And when a pet I truly love is dying, I will find it hard to cope.
Muffin is my favourite rat. She has a fat belly, and bingo wings, and the softest curly cream hair. She likes to snuggle, and she will lick you out of affection. She is beautiful, and loving, and I love her. Now, however, she is dying. Under her arm she has a big tumour, and her mammary gland has been replaced with a huge pink tumour that has split. She smells of rotting, yet whenever I approach the cage she bounces up to the bars, licks my fingers just like before. Se tries to chew my jumper into a nest. She doesn’t act like something dying.
I don’t know what to do. Part of me thinks I should put her down, She is dragging an open wound underneath her, she smells like death. Yet can I make that decision? She stills seems so loving. I can’t do it and I don’t know what to do. It is heartbreaking. Who are we to play some semblance of god, of Kali? Do we have the right to take that away, make that decision?
Strange Dreams of Babies and Sunbeams March 20, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Dreams.2 comments
My dreams are always strange – I prefer it that way, it makes my nights entertaining, so that shut-eye feels less like a blank space in time, and more like a chance to explore fantasy worlds.
That said, some dreams are odder than normal. Recently my dreams of adventures and explorations, of zombies and creatures of the night, have been replaced by recurring dreams about something far stranger, far more surreal.
More specifically, I have been dreaming about becoming a mother. Sometimes the dreams involve the birth, other times they don’;t, and instead I am left holding a child with no knowledge of where it came from – but an absolute certainty that it is mine. In all of these dreams, I am an appalling mother. In the most recent I left the child at home whilst I took a vacation to see my parents, and whilst the dream ended with me missing said unnamed baby passionately, it didn’t change the fact that I left it, newborn alone and unloved.
These dreams? They are disturbing, not only because the idea of one day being an appalling mother is terrifying, but because I can’t explain why I am dreaming like this. What has started these strange stories worming their way into my subconscious?
Random Fears March 17, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Life, Chatter & Politics.Tags: phobias
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Just a little post, but do any of you have peculiar fears? I have a little bit of a phobia of bees (wasps, hornets, anything that looks bee-like really…), but this is the sort of phobia that plenty of people have. Bearing in mind how much it hurts me when I get stung, it is also kind of logical. It certainly isn’t incredibly weird and slightly bonkers.
However, there is an additional fear I do have that is kind of strange. You know, like people who have a fear of buttons. Or of wire wool. It isn’t really logical.
I don’t like the number 11.
11.11
(image from here)
There, I said it. For some reason, the number 11 makes me nervous. I get this fluttery feeling in my tummy. If I check the time and it happens to be 11.11 I have to look away until it passes, because I have this incredibly strong feeling that something bad will happen.
How is that for bonkers?!
Running low on positivity juice March 17, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Depression, Life, Chatter & Politics.2 comments
Following my super happy post earlier in the week, I have predictably had a bit of a crash. I am desperately hormonal, craving chocolate, and unhappy for a number of reasons both professionally and personally. Work is going through a tense and difficult phase, whilst at home poor little Muffin is slowly dying from a mammary tumour that I can’t afford to remove. Sitting back to watch my favourite rat die is horrific, and the fact that the world in general seems quite miserable has been enough to tip this girl into a weepy and self-pitying phase.
Don’t get me wrong. Give me a few days and my hormones will level out, and I will be OK. In fact, if the weather keeps being lovely and warm, I will probably bounce right back up to “enthusiastic and happy” again. For now, however, I could really use a hug, and maybe a night of head-banging to RATM, and someone to pat me on the head and feed me chocolate.
Spring, Strolls and Summer Dresses March 13, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Inspiration, Life, Chatter & Politics, Photos, What I Wore.Tags: buds, daily outfit, Fashion, outfit, outfit shot, Photos, primrose, seasons, spring, spring flowers, What I wore
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The First Buds of Spring
Winter can be a long and difficult time. The deep cold nights lead into days that slip by in a dull and dismal blink, the chill bites into your bones and lingers in your veins. Chores that would be easy in the light of a summer afternoon become a tiresome drudgery. We fight through the season year after year, but come March the desire for spring and sunshine never fails to dominate our thoughts.
It is with some relief, therefore, to finally witness the true arrival of spring. Not just the gradual arrival of watery light before and after work, or even the bobbing heads of snowdrops, but real signs that mean it is finally here.
Sunshine that warms as well as illuminates. Gambolling lambs. Swathes of daffodils and primroses dappled in shadow, tree boughs heavy with fragrant blossom. The arrival of beautifully delicate buds, green folds unfurling like butterfly’s wings fresh from the chrysalis. Life suddenly bursting from ground that before seemed dull and dead.
This weekend has seen such a transformation. It has been warm, and blisteringly sunny, the perfect weather for strolls around town, and even for ice creams in the park. The sunlight has shocked the trees into action, and seemingly from nowhere the season has switched, and plants seem desperate to put forth flowers and leaves. Bees have been buzzing from bouquet to bouquet, and families have been playing football in the park.
I sat on a bench today, scribbling this post down, and taking photos to chronicle the arrival of a new juncture. I also immersed myself in a little book of Thomas Hardy poems, and watched the play and chatter of the people who strolled around the gardens. Yesterday, having drifted around town, I posted the most over-the-top status on Facebook, so saturated was I by the magic that has been in the air this weekend:
Can I randomly say something? Life is amazing. I all too often forget, but as I wandered around town today, in the sunshine and nothing more glamorous than my own company, it all came rushing back to me. Life? Life is damn good, and I’m so glad I get to enjoy it.
Beautiful Bold Spring Flowers
Up Close!
And my spring outfit!
Finally, because I felt so happy with what I wore, a little outfit shot. My new favourite hold-ups from Jonathan Aston, and a cute little navy summer dress that I picked up in a charity shop. Which, for the benefit of all those who know how important this is, has pockets. I felt spring like and glamorous, and it was so nice to be able to get the sunglasses out!
I wish March 9, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Inspiration, Wordy Business.Tags: Dreams, Inspiration, stars, wishes
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I wish I was lying on warm grass on a summers night, watching the sun sink below the horizon. I wish I could smell the scent of dew and greenery, and see the sky descend into inky indigo, the stars appearing in the ever increasing blackness.
I wish I was snug in someone’s arms, feeling their heat burning into my skin, listening to the pounding of their heart against mine. Staring up together at the blazing heavens, tracing patterns and shapes from light to light.
I wish I was watching shooting stars leave shimmering trails, hearing the hooting of an owl somewhere in the distance. I wish I was breathing in the smell of fresh lake air, having my hair stroked with trembling fingers, kissing and being kissed.
I wish.
Larking it up in the Lakes March 8, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Family, Life, Chatter & Politics, Photos.Tags: birthday, lake district, Photos, ullswater
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Well, I have just had the most wonderful birthday weekend.
Usually I am a bit of a bummer about birthdays. I wine, and complain, and generally end up being disappointed. However, this year in the spirit of actually having adventures and doing things that make me happy, I arrange with some of my nearest and dearest to take a long weekend away in a cottage in the Lakes, and lo and behold it actually came to fruition! And so, with some minor problems getting our rental car (read: debit card eaten by angry ATM machine, resulting in tears and fisticuffs before dawn), we finally got on the road heading up to the tiny little hamlet of Butterwick, near Ullswater in the Lake District.
And what a fabulous time was had by all. Friday night was, if I am completely honest, spent in a drunken fuzz that was so bad I put myself to bed relatively early – the only way to spend the first night of your holiday wind down! Thankfully there was no hangover the next day, but instead there was a walk around Penrith, clambering the castle, visiting a somewhat disappointing market, and then settling at home with enchiladas and much drink. In fact, thanks to my cousin’s fabulous drinking game, we all managed to party and laugh into the wee hours.
Sunday was a more sedate experience, strolling out to Haweswater to sit by the lake and snack on yet more sugary foods, before waiting for our lift back. We even got to know the local Red Cross, as poor Jasmine tumbled from a stone wall, and needed an ice pack to nurse her old skiing injury back to something resembling a normal limb. Still, despite the problems we all managed to enjoy a fabulous day, with a big pork roast (with all the trimmings, and probably some extra!), Chinese lanterns, and a sky full of the most magical amount of stars. It was amazing, utterly calming, and brilliantly romantic. I just wanted to lie out on the grass, watching the stars twinkling above, tracing constellations in the air.
Of course, beautiful things like this have to end, and so it is with some reluctance that I have returned home. As I type I am wishing that I could be back in that calm place, with nothing but the sound of water trickling, birds singing, and the occasional sheep bleating in the background. I miss it, and the people I was with, desperately, and hope that an equally wonderful weekend was had by all.
And for your viewing pleasure, some photos…
Playing Whack-A-Mole may have kept us far too entertained, and made us far too violent...
Unfortunately I didn't actually get to see any red squirrels...
My new hair, for those who enquired...
The view of gorgeous Haweswater
And, finally, Ullswater herself, now my favourite lake!
Etsy Love: Your Inner Geek March 2, 2011
Posted by Lauren Cooke in Fashion, Inspiration, Vintage.add a comment
I have been doing a bit of shopping this week, but thankfully for my bank balance it has only been in my mind. Still, I am having a lot of trouble resisting this motley collection of lovely items, all of which are channelling my inner geek in the most utterly cool way!
Velociraptors Wall Decall
Awesome – one day I want these on my wall – they are, after all, my favourite characters from any film, ever!
Star Trek Earrings
Star Trek earrings! The ultimate in geekery!
Crochet Angry Birds
The current obsession that is keeping me up at night is a simple and unassuming iPhone app. But now technology meets crafting, with awesome results!
Wine Periodic Table Cushion
Science geekiness anyone? I love that science is used to express something so… delicious!
I want to believe necklace
Yes, yes, I am currently still obsessed with The X Files. I still want the poster on my wall – but this cute necklace is a step in the right direction!
Chameleon skull ring
Finally, I love this ring. I like the way it looks, and in addition it is totally geeky and accurate in size!
