I wish things were different… November 3, 2011Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
Here I am, only a little while from returning home. I need to find somewhere to live, I need to rediscover my social life, I need to figure out if I can remember how to do my job. I am also coming back single, and full of regret.
You see, I was always scared about going away when in a relationship. It was fresh and new, in the grander scheme of things, but it was the first relationship where I have felt love like it. I was so in love. But even knowing this, I was scared. I don’t trust myself much, I know the flawed set up and weaknesses of my stupid stupid brain more than anyone ever else will, and I knew that this trip would affect me in ways that the person left home wouldn’t be involved in.
I was right. I changed. When the time came to see that lovely boy again, things had happened that changed it all. After all that time, my brain had forgotten. I no longer knew with that previous solidity what I felt. I wasn’t the same person, and I couldn’t figure myself out, let alone me in relation to anyone else. So, despite the fact I may be throwing away the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I ended it. It hurt me, so I dread to think how it hurt the innocent party. It was selfish, and maybe it says the most about me that selfishness was the only path I saw forward.
So, life is starting over in a few weeks. I’m still feeling the jaws of New Zealand threatening to devour me, and I’m terrified of home. I don’t know if I’ll even have one.
I’ve had an amazing time, but I still wish it wasn’t happening like this.
On things I want: Inspired by Homesickness August 30, 2011Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
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The things you miss when away from home are often the obvious. Your family, your friends, the people you love and the person whose kisses you need to stop you feeling so alone. Then, however, there is list of things that aren’t quite so obvious, the unexpected luxuries that you never suspected you might long for.
This is my list of such silly luxuries. Such inconsequential items that could cheer me up (though I must take pains to say i am not by any means unhappy!) in an instant:
- My mum’s Boston Baked Beans.
- Straight hair!
- A pasty. A cornish one…
- English weather.
- English prices!
- My lovely lovely laptop.
- The ability to phone people.
- A varied wardrobe.
- Double beds.
- Baths – and I don’t even take baths very often!
Little Miss Contradictory July 18, 2011Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
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I often wonder what the people who read my blog think about me. Do you assume, because of all the morose posts, that in real life I do nothing but whine and sob? (Not true by the way, although I’ll always have a penchant for the odd cerebral wobble, mainly kept to myself). Perhaps you’ll assume I’m relative capable of forming a coherent sentence, what with all the writing. (Also not true by the way, I can often be found wordless and mumbling insanely in a corner).
I feel that when I write this blog, I categorise myself. This day I’m trying to be witty, this day I’m being endearing. This day I’m kind of bright, this day I’m down in the dumps. This day I’m more than a little bit thick, and this day I’m a geek to the nth degree. Is there any sort of consistent and reliable me that is the same day to day, or am I really a bunch of contradictions and mysteries?
The answer? Probably not?! I’m weird, and wonderful, and made up of some many odd little bits and pieces that I can be anything from day to day. I can feel a little too much, I can be terrified, I can cry and laugh. I can be stupid and clever. I love it.
A Quick Note June 15, 2011Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
Just a quick note about yesterday’s blog post. I wasn’t trying to stir up controversy or wind people up, I was just expressing a level of happiness at the change of language, and the fact that really its use/misuse just doesn’t really bother me!
It is pretty much the only blog post I’ve written in a long time that has gotten any comments, but pretty much everyone seems really angry about what I put!
Beauty, Bottled – Our New Beauty Blog Venture November 5, 2010Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
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When a friend mentioned setting up a beauty blog recently, I was quite excited. In fact, I literally jumped at the opportunity, so excited was I to have the opportunity to review products and be bitchy about them in a legitimate space!
And so, with no further ado, let me introduce Beauty, Bottled.
Please please please be the diamonds I know you are and go have a look at this blog! Oh, and follow us on Twitter for the latest gossip and posts!
Paranormal Activity 2: A Wuss’ Guide October 27, 2010Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
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Tonight I enjoyed yet another fright fest with the lovely gals from my old work. We always see scary films together, which is a good job as sometimes, just sometimes, those films transform me into a jabbering wreck. Tonight, whilst ignoring the fact that all my cold-filled head wanted to do was sniffle and snuffle, we went to see Paranormal Activity 2, a sequel that is just as good as the original, and which may well be even scarier. So with no further fuss, here is a little guide to how to watch it if you, like me, are something of a wuss…
- Take appropriate covering. For me, this involved hiding underneath my (wonderful) new velvet coat.
- Take good friends. They have to be willing to a) bit accidentally hit by you when you jump unexpectedly, and b) be easily as scared as you are!
- Whisper your way (quietly) through the scary bits (and laugh when the girl in the back nearly wets herself at a particularly scary bit!)
- Ring your mum on the way home, because otherwise you’ll worry about demons getting you from the shadows. Reassure her that this time at least you aren’t worrying about zombies getting you, like last time you rang her like this.
- Finally, read and watch fun things when you get hom. Hence why I am now watching strange but cute YouTube videos. And trying to work out how to train a cat to dance.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst July 21, 2010Posted by Lauren Cooke in Depression, Life, Chatter & Politics, Uncategorized.
Tags: break ups, Depression, Life, relationships, sadness
I have a flawed personality. It is damaged goods on so many levels. I find things sad that others find happy. I can feel lonely when surrounded by thousands of people. I trust people too much. I harbor the permanently unfulfilled believe that in the end, no matter how much shit it throws at you, life will give you something nice in the end.
One of my main characteristics has always been that I don’t love easily. I have a select group of friends whom I adore, but I don’t let them know me very easily at all. I have historically avoided relationships like the plague,being convinced that as such a boring and idiotic person it is only opening myself up to hurt to give myself to someone completely and utterly.
Another characteristic is a complete lack of self-esteem. I like the person I am, and would never want to change my basic self, but I don’t believe I deserve good things. I don’t feel that anything nice is meant to happen to me, and if it does I spend most of my time waiting for it to end. I look in the mirror and nine times out of ten I am disappointed with what I find staring back at myself. I wish I was more entertaining, more reliable, more intelligent. I wish I was prettier, more confident.
I am, as you may have gathered, not very happy at the moment. I am so very alone, and so bitterly sad. Life, for a few weeks, has been starting to look up. All the problems of the past few months – Ben and I breaking up, my new flat falling through, being homeless, not being able to find a flat, or a flatmate, were starting to resolve themselves. I have a new house now, and a new housemate. I was at the beginning of a new relationship which foolishly I let myself get my hopes up about. Just when things were looking cheery, everything turned upside-down again and I have been floored somewhat. I hurt inside, and I can’t stop crying. I am, in short, pathetic and ridiculous and utterly utterly letting myself down in every way shape and form that I can.
I will, no doubt, be fine. I have been down in the dumps before, and I like to think that actually it is good that I can now feel emotions, both ups and downs, like a normal non-depressed person. Even so, however, it hurts ridiculously, and when all I need is a hug there isn’t anyone around to give it. In fact, the person I would pribably appreciate a hug from most is no doubt removed from my life for the forseeable future.
Good god, life is shit. I hate it.
As the proverb goes, it is not a matter of absence making the heart grow fonder, but more that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
Make me a… 1920’s Flapper Girl September 16, 2009Posted by Lauren Cooke in Advice, Fashion, Makeup/Cosmetics, Uncategorized, Vintage.
Tags: 1920s fashion, cosmetics, Fashion, how-to guides, vintage fashion
Off the back of my vintage fashion exploration a few weeks ago, I have decided to produce a “How-To” guide for each of the eras I covered. These will contain clothes (both vintage, vintage inspired and direct repro), makeup and more, to help your achieve that distinctly vintage fashion style!
This week I tackle the gorgeous and brilliantly tenacious 1920’s flapper girl.
The dress is the main thing for a vintage 1920’s fashion look. straight and generally relatively curveless, this era really knew how to party. With long spindle like legs, little in the way of the chest department and hair cropped into a bob, they used to dance across many a dance floor in detailed sequined and beaded numbers. There were plenty of other dress styles, but this is the look that stuck in our minds and that truly represents that 1920’s vibe. You can go vintage, but bead in mind that the delicate beaded, lace and see-through dresses are approaching 90 years old and will be pretty darn pricey.
Try this stunning lace dress from Posh Girl Vintage if you do have the financial resources! If you are pinching the pennies (and the pounds), then try for repro. The 80’s in particular were fascinated with the fashion of the 20’s and 30’s, and tried to reproduce both faithfully and… well… not so. Nowadays Monsoon in particular have a good line of 1920s fashion inspired clothing; dresses like this beaded halterneck mean that busty girls can now enjoy that 1920’s flapper girl luxury!
I may get in trouble for saying so, but I don’t believe wearing vintage or being inspired by moments in fashion history mean you have to be loyal. Every body shape should be able to find something to wear, even if they are “too curvy” for the 20’s or “too straight” for the 50’s. These interpretations allow a happy middle ground.
Ok, on from the dresses to the accessories. Cloche hats were one of the most popular styles out there, suiting those cute bobs and cheekbone-y faces. Luckily, these hats are really back in fashion again, meaning that you can happily either wear vintage of the surprisingly faithful versions popping up on the high street. Cute curls popping out from under this head hugging hat will look cute in any era!
For the perfect winter look, M&S are producing this cute grey 1920’s cloche hat that will go with any thick winter coat, whilst for a fancy evening this actual vintage 1920’s hat from Samaya Ling is just stunning in such a vibrant shade of green, with those gorgeous satin ribbon.
Finally, finish your flapper girl look with some beautiful makeup. With pale philosophical faces, the 20’s were about looking pale and interesting rather than rosy and glowing. Very light cream or pale natural shades were the best, leaving your face as a blank canvas for the lovely makeup touches. The lips had strong cupids bows painted on (the line of your real lips didn’t matter at all!) with a lipstick brush to give you a real “lip” shape and to shorten your lip width. The colours were generally dark, and reflected the equally dark eye makeup. With an excess of smudged-in eye liner, grey shadow and the occasional green/blue shade, this was an era of exaggeration and emphasis of the faces features.
(image from here)
Vintage Shoes January 14, 2009Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
Tags: eBay, Fashion, irregular choice, Shoes, Shopping, vintage, vintage shoes
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I have spent the past few weeks selling items on eBay, and have been relatively successful. I am gettgin rid of the clothes that have been holding up my wardrobe for years in some cases – but one of my favourite items (shoes soo small for me they don’t fit on my feet) isn’t selling.
They are a gorgeous pair of vintage pearl shoes with gold threaded perspex heels – yet for a fiver they simply aren’t selling! Very disappointing!
I sense a relisting coming up!