The Art of Absconding May 18, 2008Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
Tags: Family, friends, goodbyes, Loneliness, Missing people
Missing people is a complete bugger.
That’s not perhaps the most eloquent way of putting it – I should instead spout reams about the constricting of the heart strings, the feeling of longing to be with them. Ringing them up simply to hear their voice, and being quite happy to sit without talking, knowing that they are on the other end being all you need. I should explain about the way I hate saying goodbye because I know it means I’m alone again, and how I try to fall asleep as fast as I can so that I have a shorter time to lie in bed staring at the ceiling and pray for a shoulder nook to snuggle up in and fall asleep on. However, all that adjectival hocus pocus misses the real point. The simple honest truth that you miss that certain person like crazy, and wish you were with them. It’s that basic.
Being at uni I miss lots of people, though I tend to bury it deep inside – I miss those people from home, whom I have known since Primary school and with whom I never fail to have a laugh. I miss my family, because thye have been around me all the time since I was tiny, they know me better than I know myself, and although I love running my own life I don’t see them enough. I miss Ben, more than anyone else, because not only do I love him, but I’m used to spending my time with him, and feel “right” when I am. I miss knowing who I am, and what I want to do. I miss that sense of certainty about my life, where I know it will always work out in the long run, or that the sun will rise. I hope that certainty will come again.