To gain or not to gain November 19, 2008Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
Tags: choclate, confidence, Depression, dieting, Food, self-help, weightloss
I’ve started worrying, for a change, about my weight. Now, I am in no way overweight. I weigh in at about 9 1/2 stone, and unfortunately always show as underweight on BMI scales. Which, to be honest, isn’t all that fair – I eat as much as I can, and I officially love food!
However, recently my physical activity has plummeted, and my eating has rocketed. I keep finding myself sat down with a chocolate bar, and before I know it the creamy, sweet substance has found its way into my over enthusiastic gullet. Now, my favourite trousers and dresses won’t do up around my rather wobbly belly, and although I’m a 10/12 size-wise, I cannot admit it. If nothing else, I don’t want to have to go out and buy a whole new collection of clothes.
I like my old and treasured collection, to which I gradually add quirky and day-to-day pieces, and with which I’m utterly familiar and comfortable. The idea of starting again, though perhaps appealing to my inner shopaholic, absolutely terrifies my bank balance.
I think the real reason that I am so worried about this, however, is because my shape has always been my fallback. Other people have great eyes, or beautiful hair. I have/had a great body, generally toned in the right places. This served to detract attention away from the flaws of which I hate to admit I am self-conscious. The crooked witch nose, the dark shadows under my eyes. The fact that my hair simply refuses to do what I tell it. A word of advice, never give your hair the free reign – it ain’t good!
So now I’m plumper than I was, and struggling to deal with this and my face. Amusing as that may sound. So, for the first time in my life, I am properly dieting. And I am vowing to exercise more, forcing poor Ben to partake in callanetics, and other such sporty activities.
Now I know that a lot of you will be reading this with a certain air of raised eyebrows – that look that says, sure, you may be worried, but you’ve got it great. But you need to understand that in a way, weight is relative. What can look great on one person will look obscene on another. What someone doesn’t care about can cripple someone else’s self-confidence. For me, this weight is crippling it, and it is made worse by knowing that it is my own paranoia, and no one else agrees.
I you see me some point soon, I could do with a hug.