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Depressed Bunnies December 4, 2008

Posted by Lauren Cooke in Uncategorized.
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Well, I am not a happy bunny. Woke up this morning with the weight of the world on my shoulder – the impending doom and gloom finally landed on my head with a big, fat and resoundingly dismal plop.

I’ve been having trouble raising a smile for a few days now (saw the doctor the other day, I am now technically free from any anti-depressants, resulting in the melancholy you are witnessing here). This feeling of down-in-the-dumps-ness (has anyone noticed how I love to string my words together?) isn’t helped by the fact that day by day I am fitting into less and less of my clothes, clothes which I love and adore. My target is to get down to an 8 at some point in the future, to fit back in them.

What shocks me is that I am NOT that girl. I haven’t got body hangups, I am realistic and sensible. Yet here I am, joining the unfortunate and overlook hoards who cannot bear to look at themselves in the mirror. I am totally aware of the growth of this complete disillusionment, I know that I am seeing my body a million times fatter than any passer by. Yet, much to my terror, I can’t seem to stop feeling like this. I have even (and here is where I am too honest, and people run away in horror) thought about throwing up when I eat too much, because I only realise right after I have finished eating just how much I have devoured.

I wonder if these worries are somehow born of the fact that my body has suddenly and without warning been forced to go happy pill cold turkey. If the resulting chemical cock up in my head has thrown my reactions and interpretations completely out of whack? Will, with a few weeks dosing of the miracle pills, my brain reset?

The alternative explanation is that I have more to worry about than just the depression, which I can fix. Maybe I am truly becoming horrifically body conscious, to the point of idiocy.

Perhaps, as I have been meaning to do for ages, I should get my ass to a hypnotist. And as well as hopefully sorting out my nail biting issues, I can start changing these new views about appearance and food before they get too ingrained.

God, what is going on with me?! Sometimes, just sometimes, I really wish I was normal.

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Comments»

1. T - December 5, 2008

M, we all have issues and concerns Re ourselves. Women more so these days – but why is that …….. is it due to what is visually presented to us on TV ?

U then sit their and watch what is being beamed into our heads and then look at ourselves and think i am not normal. But indeed we are normal but the ones that are being portrayed on tv are NOT.

I have seen you around and about and trust me you have NOTHING to complain about. U r one very beautiful young lady.

I would give hypnotists a go. I have. Since that day i had what i needed to do i have not been tempted.

Do go and seek one and start off on the small items like, nail biting and then move onto something else.

RE the pills – it takes awhile for the chemicals to get out of our system, depending on a person it can be anything from 6-12 weeks.

So smile and keep thinking positive.

I am sending big warm hugs your way. OK and a wagging finger saying nothing wrong with you 🙂

T
xx

mysterycreature1 - December 5, 2008

Lovely, thank you T. I know that I am not fat — indeed it is this knoweldge that makes em all the more scared by the fact that I seem to be worrying more an more about my weight. Thanks for the support x

2. T - December 5, 2008

Here you go – hope this makes you smile a little – if it does then i will be smiling myself 🙂 this is not my work but would like to share it with you. x

There is so much beauty in
This wondrous, blue rose
If only we could capture it
Within our very souls

If we could take its beauty
And apply the glow within
Search a little deeper
In the soul beneath our skin

Take what it does stand for
And shed its love abroad
Don’t hide the glow within you
But share the love of God

You know you can’t touch beauty
Without it rubbing off on you
And spreading it to others
In the kindness that you do

There lies within each one of us
The beauty like this rose
When it’s used in touching others
Then its beauty overflows

T

xx

3. T - December 5, 2008

only you and you alone hold the key to the answers within. Am sure you will unlock the issues one by one. Just take your time.

Hope it made you smile – even if it was just for a second.

Dont be shocked and surprised if i say hi before i leave.

well me has to get me head into gear as we are out tonight in town – weatherspoons, then meal and then Rio’s tonight – joy o joy. Does not help that a couple of us were out last night.

Keep smiling LC.

T
x

4. Melkur - December 10, 2008

Hope you’re feeling a bit better, I think it’s true that antidepressants do take a while to get out of your system, I’ve often thought that. Also good luck to you both with your smoothies! If it’s any encouragement I changed my diet for good about three years ago and I’ve never put the weight back on (something I’ve never managed before.) And ‘Smooth moves’, you’re getting as bad as me with the puns! 😆

5. mysterycreature1 - December 11, 2008

Hi Melkur. Long time no speak! There’s nothing wrong with puns! hehe – in fact, I’m completely addicted! Smoothie diet is going well – never before have a wanted food quite so much though!


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