It’s all relative May 16, 2009Posted by Lauren Cooke in Advice, Fashion, Life, Chatter & Politics, Vintage, What I Wore.
Tags: beauty, Dreams, edith & ella, Fashion, losing weight, self belief, Self-esteem, weightloss
I’ve been thinking about body size and body image this weekend. Today was spent in Birmingham, shopping for bikinis and shorts for my upcoming holiday (pause for moment of wild untethered excitement… eeeeeeeeeee!!). Having put on a stone (or possibly more) in the past year, I am missing the naturally slender body that I used to have. I am not overweight, but as I say above, it is all relative. Friends had it right! To me, no longer fitting in my favourite clothes and looking dramatically different makes me feel bad about how I look and truly embarrassed that I don’t look like I once did. For me, I feel overweight because of how small I used to be, even though others would still say I am small.
Personal perception of changes etc, means that how you feel about your body weight is completely personal. Which is why I am actually going to have two weeks of dieting. I believe I will feel better if I know I have done what I can to grab hold of my increasing eating habits and give them a good shake. Doing exercise and losing a little weight before my holiday will hopefully kick start the self esteem that has plummeted in the past few weeks. I bought two bikinis today – but no shorts, because I couldn’t get past the imaginary fat I saw all over. The bikinis I only go away with by pretending they were underwear, and hoping they would look good when the sun was on my skin.
How odd, how we can leave behind all self esteem, How self-hate can become a regular thing, how we can lose the bits we love and only see the bits we don’t like. Sometimes it just takes a bit of a shake up to learn how to love ourselves again – and here’s hoping it works!
Anyway, I managed to buy a completely beautiful dress that is also totally unsuitable for a holiday. It was in TK Maxx (shop of the gods!), and is by Danish designers Edith & Ella. I love it!! I did manage to buythe two bikinis (don’t think you’d appreciate a picture of those somehow…) and some comfy Scholl shoes though, so my holiday mission wasn’t completely lost!
Some other cool things from today – the mirrored Tigra car! Sooo funky and I really wish they did it as an actual car you could buy! Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case – but it does look damn good!