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Managing Relationships December 6, 2009

Posted by Lauren Cooke in Depression, Family, Life, Chatter & Politics.
Tags: , , ,

Sorry for the absence… I didn’t want to blog, so I didn’t. I haven’t even kept up on other people’s blogs, and have no doubt missed wonderful things. But I am feeling a little more blog-worthy… so here goes…

Being one half of a long-term relationship is not an easy thing. It is an enjoyable thing, a thing to be treasured – but not easy by any stretch of the imagination.

Many people who know me will be surprised to know that Ben and I are ever anything but happy. Sure we banter and snark at each other, but generally we are chirpy people who love each other. But sometimes, and particularly for the past few months, love isn’t enough on its own.

The past few months have been about compromise. I have been exhausted, changing jobs and generally knackered. Ben has been travelling the country, utterly drained and fed up of the open road. Between us we have argued, cried, collapsed exhausted and pretended nothing is wrong. After weeks of not tidying, of arguing, we finally talked, we sorted things out and are gingerly back on an even keel. At no point did we stop loving each other, but for a while, we needed something else. Thankfully, we had it, we fought long and hard for it, and we are OK.

This all got me thinking about the way that we take relationships for granted. And also the way in which people see “happy relationships” and never suspect any deeper troubles. Even the most wonderful couple isn’t happy all the time, needs a helping hand sometimes, cries at night or buries themselves in work.

I am thankful for what I have, and I will fight for it. But I will try my hardest not to take it for granted!



1. ElementalGrace - December 6, 2009

I’m glad things are better for you now. Honestly, I used to be one of those people who was always the token single person at parties and wildly envious of all the happy couples. Now I’m not, and why? Because I do know just how much hard work goes into a good relationship, and how much more effort goes in when it’s not so good. The endless compromise, consideration of another person’s feelings, mitigating your taste so that you reach a happy medium …

That said, a good relationship does balance that out, as you said and make it worthwhile. In every way, it’s good to know exactly where you are and what it took for you to get there.

I’m not sure I could do it.

2. Alysa - December 8, 2009

So sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time, but very glad to hear that you’re getting through it – and have been brave enough to write about it. I absolutely agree on how much you need to put into relationships 🙂

3. Lilji.Love - December 10, 2009

I’m so glad you both made it through and that your love is stronger for it. This post warmed my heart as I have just broken up with a long term partner and it’s nice to be reminded not to take things for granted. Well done!! xoxo

Lauren Cooke - December 10, 2009

Hi Lilji

Thanks for this comment it just made my day 🙂 x

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