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Film Review | The Expendables (stuff blows up!) August 31, 2010

Posted by Lauren Cooke in Media, TV & Film.
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First, a disclaimer. I have a bit of a penchant for things blowing up. Until I finished uni, I had only ever really had an interest in intelligent films. Films that make you question life, or which raise huge life issues. You know, poncy films. I do, of course, still have a strong affection for these films. However, recent years have seen me develop a new list of favourite films alongside my intelligent list – a list of films that I wildly enjoyed in spite of the fact that technically they are… awful.

The Expendables is one of those films. I went to see it in a state of hyped up excitement, aware that what I was about to witness was, without a doubt, going to be one of the only films like it ever made. When again would such legends come together on one screen, with throw backs to their past performances and teasing comments to boot. Thanks to Stalone, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Rourke, Statham, Jet Li, Lundgren, and probably more that I have forgotten, I was bound to witness a historical moment.

The film didn’t disappoint. It was historical. It was also, predictably, utterly terrible. The plot, what little there was of it, started off optimistically enough, but then was ignited and forgotten in a blaze of petrol bombs and bullets. The dialogue was awful, with just enough witty one-liners to pull it up into the “bearable” category. Some of the acting, of course, was like watching a wooden puppet attempt to prove that it is a real boy. It was awful.

Perhaps because of this shameless crapness, I adored this film. I laughed out loud, I jumped. I watched as pretty much every cast member and every prop got exploded, shot, or otherwise destroyed. Massive mansions were raised to the ground, trucks engaged in car chases through tiny winding streets, and at one point Stallone is hanging from a plane. Oh, and there is a gun that effectively tears a torso in half.

Don’t go into this expecting brilliance. Expect explosions, however, and you will be very pleased indeed. And maybe, like other action junkies, you will reluctantly admit that you loved it!

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