We all fall down November 8, 2010Posted by Lauren Cooke in Life, Chatter & Politics, Rants.
Tags: clumsiness, falling over, Heels, Shoes
I have developed a problem recently. It has actually been a problem that has haunted me throughout my entire life, as a clumsy individual with very little in the way of spacial awareness. I have stumbled, wobbled and bumped my way through my many years, with many a bruise and graze as evidence of my physical incompetence. Now, however, the problem has got worse, as my ankles have become really really weak.
OK, so it may have something to do with wearing heels. And perhaps on nights out I should really invest in a pair of fold up flats to go in my handbags. However, before I always used to be able to walk places in heels, and now I go tumble at the merest mention of a bump in the pavement. The tiniest imperfection can set my poor ankles a-wobbling, and before I know it I am down on the floor.
This started happening when I was drunk. I became that irritating person who spends a lot of the journey home pulling herself out of ditches, drains and back up onto the pavement. I assumed that maybe I was drunker than I had thought, only one stage off paralytic. I couldn’t work out how it happened. Don’t get me wrong, I was genuinely pissed – but falling down like that is, to me, only one stage off falling unconscious!
Then I started falling in the real world, the sober world. The other day, when heading to Wetherspoons in the salubrious area of Solihull, I face planted myself neatly on the tarmac, splitting my lovely vintage dress in the process. This wasn’t just a wobble – I fully went down, and only a familiarity with the act of falling saved my for certain injury! That same day, I nearly fell 3 other times when my ankle just flopped neatly outwards, without the faintest provocation. Since then, although it doesn’t hurt, I have nearly gone face first in the dirt a number of times, most commonly when completely sober AND wearing flats. How can this be?!
Any suggestions people? How can I strengthen my ankles?
So, if you see me stumbling around town – don’t assume I’m drunk,just assume I’m incompetent!