The thoughts that occupy us February 20, 2011Posted by Lauren Cooke in Life, Chatter & Politics.
In my life I have been in love once. You know, true, head over heels, swooning and butterflies kind of love. The sort of love where you can see the object of your affection across a crowded room, and forget that there is anyone else there. Love accompanied by pure, unadulterated lust. Racing hearts, sweat beading on your skin, a weakness in the knees from a mere sternly directed glance. Passion, sex, love, all balled together.
The past few months I have been dating. Dating of the online variety, where you meet someone, exchange witty cynicisms, meet in a pub and chat about your lives. It has been incredibly good fun, discovering a side of myself that likes curling up with strangers and a glass of wine, nattering and flirting and teasing. For the first time in my life I have been embracing my ability to have fun without a relationship, to experience and enjoy promiscuity, to have experiences that I’ve never had before.
However, dating has made me realise something. That that real stomach turning chemistry, is pretty rare. And that having fun is one thing, but experiencing that pure desire is something that I may need to wait for. That will come along again, but which isn’t an inevitability. It isn’t something you get with all people you fancy, which is in itself is a lesson. I never realised, you see, how uncommon swooning and breathlessness actually is.
I hope I find it soon. I think it would be nice.