Forgotten along the way May 11, 2011Posted by Lauren Cooke in Depression.
OK guys, gear yourself up for an insecure blog post. My morose sessions have become so occasional that I almost feel bad posting my whiney posts, but it is my blog after all!
So, one of my big things in life is working out if I’m likeable. People seem to get on with me in a crowd, but when it comes to one on one conversation I think I am lacking. I think I have some intangible quality that means people just aren’t that bothered about being a close friend – I belong on the peripheries of a group. There is that beautiful line – I spend my life on the outside looking in.
It is funny. I actually rather like myself, in a
Sometimes I feel that this natural tendency means I am forgotten. Noone invites me to things, noone ever wants to meet up with me for coffee. I hear about this constant meeting up everyone else has, and I just float by, spending night after night alone and completely behind on the gossip. If I do try to organise things, like nights at the pub, noone ever comes, and it has got to the point where I am spectacularly paranoid about anything I try to organise. I haven’t tried to organise anything in months, only breaking the pattern because I thought my leaving do would be important enough for people to feel guilty if they couldn’t be bothered to come.
Maybe I’m reading too much into things. But this feeling? This feeling lingers anyway.