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The Complete Illogicality Of Hormones August 3, 2011

Posted by Lauren Cooke in Depression, Life, Chatter & Politics.
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Last night was lovely. I made rather scrumptious (if I do say so myself) sausage and mash, I snuggled up on the sofa watching dodgy TV (a boyfriend who admits to liking watching Britain’s Next Top Model? Ideal!) and I felt very happy and content. Then I buggered everything up.

How did I do this? Well, if you want my excuses, it was hot. The kind of solid wall of heat that crawls over you, pinning you down, making your head heavy and your mind sticky. I also felt decidedly odd – I came over all hot and flushed, with a sickness in the pit of my belly and that (worryingly familiar) ache in my head. I was hormonal, and tetchy, and something came on the TV about a series of programmes explaining some key interesting areas of science.

And, for some reason, I ranted. Which, as a scientifically open individual, I found strange. I let off a bubble of hormonally driven drivel about something largely nonsensical to do with science never proving anything (??), and priorities being wrong (!!), and other such rambling strangeness that seemingly came from nowhere, and which hit neatly on the (sensible and totally correct) wall of Andy’s analytical/scientific brain. Then I burst into tears. The last time I did something like this I ended up sobbing into my (somewhat taken aback) mother’s arms about an obscure strain of mountain Buddhism, muttering about how they’d better never make me give up material goods. It was odd, albeit good proof for the “Lauren Is Bonkers” hypothesis that I always keep on the shelf.

The evening was, of course, somewhat spoilt by the re-emergence of an old foe, “Lauren The Twit”. Plus, by that point my hormonal head was hurting, I was too hot to sleep, and all I really wanted to do was curl myself up in a dark corner with a crap book and an air of don’t-approach-her-you-never-know-what-she’ll-come-out-with-next about me. So, having cried and over-apologised and generally moped and groped, I finally fell asleep far too late.

I did have very cool Formula 1 inspired dreams though, which was something of a saving grace.

Anyway, here’s hoping that Andy won’t judge me too harshly for the escapee strain of insanity. I think it is tucked up back in its bubble. I think.



1. Louise - August 3, 2011

Hey, whatever happens when hormonally charged can’t be held against you. I certainly get unexplained rage/ irritability/ upset at certain times of the month and am pretty well balanced at most other times. X

2. Andy - August 3, 2011

Still thought it was a lovely evening with very tasty food. Plus I was well on the way to sleep time when the crazy came out to say hello, so wasn’t exactly with it! Let’s be honest, I’m not in any position to judge given my own oddness from time to time! But the important question is this. Why do you get more cool car related dreams than I do?!

Lauren Cooke - August 3, 2011

It was awesome too! We were all watching the race fro this grassy bank about 100m from the track, until we were moved away because the race proper was about to start. But everyone came on with the wrong tires (it was like a river out there) and the cars were sliding up the bank towards where I was sat watching the race from above – and they were crashing and sliding everywhere. And then that Mustang with the massive drag wheels was racing, but at F1 speeds, and everyone was amazed at the strength it took to drive like that!

3. Martine Jones - August 18, 2011

I dont know how I came across this blog but my goodness I can relate…and how much it made me laugh….. I just sent it to my best friend who once had such a hormone related rant with her amazing fella…a decorating dispute in there house i france… she ended up passed out on whisky in the dog basket…as you can imagine woke up feeling some what confused as hormones and whisky clearly do not work together in perfect harmony…. thanks for making me chuckle….

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